A lens through which you might see youself

I came to begin the work of soul healing when I reached a limit in talk therapy. I had spent years talking about my past and my traumas. Therapists helped me clearly understand and articulate what had happened and was happening in my life, but that didn’t heal me. In fact I felt more stuck than ever: in a corporate job I hated and that was creating physical illness in my body; in a marriage that mirrored my childhood trauma; in a cycle of addiction that was draining me of my life force energy and which would have eventually ended my life.

A story of tranformation

My true transformation began when I googled “therapist energy worker.” Intuitively I knew I needed to start moving things on a deeper level. Once again I sat in front of a new human, relaying my story and expecting more suggestions for how I might improve my marriage. Instead, he looked at me and he said, “well it sounds to me like you want to leave your husband.” I’ll never forget the shock and relief I felt in that moment. I could just…not do it anymore. He reflected back to me the energetics of a relationship that would never change. There wasn’t capacity for it. And that gave me permission to leave.

This mindset shift sent me on a journey of reflection into my life as a whole. What were my values? Where was I in alignment, and where did I need to shift things to re-align? I began to unravel values I had been taught by a diseased society and the limiting beliefs and patterns that resulted. I quit my job; I left my husband; I began to make new choices.

My journey then led me to sobriety. With dwindling external circumstances to blame for my addictive behaviors, I was forced to face myself. A twelve step recovery program led me back into a spiritual practice that I had rejected along with the religion of my youth. Guilt, shame, judgment, anxiety, unworthiness, and repression were waiting for me to tease through and release. A deep well of emotion and sensitivity that I had numbed for so long came rushing back and I was forced to reconcile the grief I wasn’t able to access in my addiction.

Grief held me for months in early sobriety, the biggest being the depth to which I had abandoned and harmed my self in attempting to find safety in an unsafe world. I processed the death loss of my dear friend Pat in a new and real way. Grief I hadn’t looked at for seven years. Only by showing up and feeling the fullness of my pain every single day was I able to one day catch my first glimpse of joy.

Defrosting and learning to feel without resistance and without allowing my emotion to drown me has taken a long time, lots of patience, the support of somatics and energy work, and cherished teachers and guides who have led me back to my Self. Relaxing my mental body back into my physical and energetic bodies has allowed my nervous system to re-wire itself for a new way of cultivating safety: safety from within.

From this place of inner safety I can explore, express, and celebrate all of me that society is afraid of. By turning towards the darkness within me and bringing it into light, I reclaim all of the Power that lives in the underbelly of repression. By embracing death and the impermanence of life, I get to fully live. My soul has found freedom here, and I desire more than anything to gift it to you.

Where do you find yourself on your own soul’s journey?

Maybe you resonate with some of the places I’ve found myself in.

Maybe you feel stuck in an unfulfilling life; tired of coming up against the same fears and patterns again and again.

Maybe you’re reflecting on your values and questioning whether the life you’ve built is in alignment.

Maybe you’ve begun making new choices, deprogramming your own limiting beliefs, and experiencing the dysregulation that comes with navigating the world on fresh, stumbly baby deer legs.

Maybe you’re facing your own death, disease, a loss of quality of life, or the death loss of a loved one.

I’m here to meet you at whatever threshold you’re facing and offer you a hand to hold as you make your way through. This work is hard and we can’t do it alone. Gift yourself permission to make a new choice.

Are you ready to deepen?

Learn more about my offerings and how we might work together here.

If you’re ready to open a dialogue, book a free discovery call. I can’t wait to meet you there.